It seems there must be a lot of funky energy going on this last week.
Most people I’ve spoken to have been feeling very emotional and overwhelmed.
In fact, I had my very own total meltdown earlier this week, and it came entirely out of the blue :(
There I was desperately trying to hold it together. I realised that I’d been on an emotional roller coaster for days. Something was brewing.
I’d blitzed the house over the weekend preparing for winter, washed sofa covers, laid carpets etc., and as I was putting the nice clean covers back on, the tears started to flow and wouldn't stop. I couldn’t face the idea of going to my office, although I knew I had a few deadlines to catch (which would put me behind and another opportunity to beat myself up…)
Instead, I took myself off for a siesta, hoping I’d feel better as I had two calls early evening. Even though I didn't sleep, I felt better for just reading and the rest.
Yes, I was back in control. At least I thought I was until I went on call number one.
Luckily, the lady I was speaking to we’d met in the virtual world many times in a group coaching setting, so when I became emotional, and the tears welled up, she wasn’t shocked and didn’t think I was so crazy.
My next call was my weekly date with my support team, my mastermind-sisters. I was a total wreck. I haven’t blabbed that hard in public for I don’t know when. They held the space beautifully for me to express myself and what transpired was a fantastic conversation and reflection for us all.
You may be asking, why was I losing it?
Anyone that's read Gay Hendrick's book 'The Big Leap' (I highly recommend if you haven’t) will know the term ‘Upper Limit Problem’, or ‘affectionately’ known as a ‘ULP’ by those that have come to recognise and experience them :)
His theory goes like this. We all have a certain level of happiness and perceived success that we are comfortable with. Nothing wrong with that until things start to get even better.
It could be life is going well for you. You signed the book deal. Tons of new clients are beating down your door to work with you. Your most profitable month yet (i.e. making more money than you’ve ever earned). About to set off on a fantastic dream holiday with your loved one, and then you go and spoil it all…
...by declaring world war 3 with the hubby, eat a whole chocolate gateau and ruin your diet, catch a nasty virus, sales drop off…
You sabotage yourself big time, well your little ego does.
Why? It likes you where you are!
And you feel safe there too - it’s your norm. Your comfort zone or another way to look at it is that we all have a set point for every area of our life that we are comfortable with, and we revert to that automatically via way of sabotage triggered by our subconscious, which wants to keep us safe where we are.
Upper limit problems are also signs of nasty fears coming up for us to conquer. Fears; around failure, success, worthiness or visibility.
Recognizing your patterns when it happens helps you move through it and learn for the next time, and hopefully calibrate to a new higher set point.
If you are feeling this at the moment, take some time out to listen to what's happening, sit with it, feel it in your body, think about what's going on right now in your life, in your relationships or your career/business. Release the resistance. Ask yourself and wait for the answers to come. They will.
My ULP this time was triggered by several recent events. Opportunities that will move my business forward (and more recognition in my field). Like becoming the host of an online radio show for The Silver Tent (a fast-growing group for women over 50). I had an article published in an online magazine. I’m launching my first retreat and workshop program in 2018.
Probably the biggie that sent me whizzing down the roller coaster is that I’m pulling out a way-overdue project from the back burner and I'm going to write and publish my first book in 2018!
There! It’s out there now. Yes! The time is right. I’ve even signed on a book coach, and we start next week!
Extremely scary, and entirely out of my comfort zone.
Can you see why I was ULP’ing? Writing a book is going to be a real test to recalibrate my set point and conquer my fears of visibility. It's going to be an exciting ride.
Will this be my last emotional roller coaster or ULP, I don’t think so.
Every time we grow, our subconscious will do its job and try to keep us safe. Our job is to train our subconscious, to expect more from us and to realise that there is nothing that won't stop us, as we become happier and more successful.
How can this happen?
By rewiring our brains and rewriting our belief and thought systems.
How do you sabotage yourself? Do you recognise your patterns?
Leave a comment or shoot me an email, I’d love to know how others handle their ULP’s
P.s. It is ok for us to have emotional roller coaster days too! They are the perfect opportunity to check in on what’s going on internally.